Can we please bring about a change now?

As everyone in India, I have been following the news in the past few weeks following the brutal rape and murder of an innocent lady in Delhi. Of course, such incidents are becoming a regular news piece almost everyday – from some part of the country or other. The coverage depending on where the person hails from is from minimum to massive.

The lady hailed form Delhi – the capital city and hence, saw massive numbers of people come out in her support. Had someone from a smaller village been subjected to such treatment, the same might not have gained much hype.

What followed the incident was the defensive tactics by political officials, speeches by other unknown politicians and celebrities (probably trying to get their two minutes in the limelight) condemning the act. On the other hand, there were common people who came out to protest the inhuman treatment of the young lady who was on the verge of hear deathbed.

One fact was clear - she wanted to live. Her fate, however, won the battle against her will power.  

It is disheartening to see that in a country that is considered as one of the largest developing economies of the world is still unable to deal with such sensitive situations. It struck a nerve with me because when you place yourself in her shoes – the fear is incomparable. 

What was her fault? She was out with a friend in the evening for a movie and at a decent hour in a metropolitan city. That sounds like an identifiable scenario for most of the people my age I guess. The realization that “what if it were you” is enough to unnerve any sane person I guess. It scares me too. But its not a scenario where I will say “ What can be done about it..it happens in India”. I will work on finding a way to be safer – take self-defence training, trust my instincts when out and be more aware of the surroundings.

Reflecting on the happenings and digging deeper, I began thinking about what is it that prompts more such incidents in India as compared to some of the other developed nations. I am not referring to our failing political system or the weak arrangement of human rights or the pathetic law system that is abundant with loopholes. No, I am trying to analyse deeper into the mindset of an average Indian.

Why do men perform atrocities such as rape, marital abuse, and killings in the name of honour, dowry demands or just any form of crime against women? And why do women bear the treatment imposed on them??  All of them are humans. Just as other human beings in other parts of the world. Why is the scenario different in India?

The answer lays at the code of the so-called mindset that we Indians have. The one that differentiates between a man and a woman. The one that says “men are more stronger and capable than women”. Sure, we now believe that the Indian women are empowered and are equal to any man. But how true is that? Sure, they are given the freedom to work, to choose their partners maybe etc. But at a more psychological level, aren’t we Indians hypocrites to a certain extent?

We proclaim ourselves as modern and open-minded, but then why do we differentiate between our sons and daughters as different? I don’t mean in an equality kind of manner but in the way as to how they are raised.

From the time they go to school, the differentiation starts. Boys are pushed more towards sports – cricket, football, karate etc. while girls are encouraged to opt for art, crafts, dance etc. Why aren’t girls pushed more towards sports or why aren’t boys inspired to dance for that matter? It is virtually fed into their psychology that boys opt for more man-like activities – read sports while girls are delicate and feminine and thus pushed more towards the finer arts. If girls were trained better in sports or other physical activities, they would definitely much better in terms of their physical capability as well as confidence levels. It is because it is fed it into their minds that boys and girls are different in terms of their capability.

The differentiation between men and women is even more distinct. Women are viewed as the ones responsible for the homely chores such as managing the house; child-care duties etc. while men are seen as the ones responsible for the progress of the family – the core member. The new age television programmes are widely responsible for propagating these beliefs. These shows portray the woman as the docile house lady who just has to clean, cook and make babies. The actors glorify the responsibilities as something that the common woman is born to do, something without which her life is pointless. Men on the hand are the most important people in the family, someone who is the key decision making authority in the house. Nothing wrong in taking care of the house, but the key message propagated by the shows are of women been shown as the weaker sex while the male is the stronger one.

The ideas are imprinted pretty strongly in the minds of the regular television watching population in India – ranging from young children to older adults.

Men and women are born equal. It is the so-called conservative mindset that the society lives by and what is so proudly disguised as “tradition” that is the culprit here. The one which claims that “women as needed to be taken care of while men are the protectors”. It is subconsciously fed in the minds of people that “Women are weaker and need men to be taken care of”. This leads the women to feel they are vulnerable and helpless without men while men invariably look down upon women as weaklings and this gives them the power to dominate them.

Men and women are considered as equals in most developed nations globally. Capability is not questioned based on gender. Both-men and women share responsibilities equally. It is this mindset that has provided the women in these nations the confidence to live life independently and not feel less powerful than men in any way. Men consider women as their equals and not is a derogatory mindset that considers women as materialistic pieces that can be abused and treated as wished. 

It is essential for these sentiments to find their way into the Indian mindset to bring about a change, to get the women to make use of their power and to point out to men the fact that women are equal to them in all sense to avoid them from abusing their available power.